Mind Your Mental Health: It’s Absolutely Fine to Seek Professional Guidance

When dealing with physical illness, finding professional help is far more straightforward than when faced with a mental health issue. Asrashaheen.in talks to Apeksha M, a counselling psychologist, to understand the importance of professional counselling in addressing mental health concerns. We also try and get a sense of what keeps this young therapist tirelessly motivated towards providing guidance to those seeking the much-needed emotional support and that “safe space for talk.”

When Apeksha M takes the floor to perform Bharatanatyam, she exudes an effortless confidence in her footwork, gestures and expressions that perhaps comes from her 17 years of training in the dance form. However, what’s more fascinating is a blissful glow on her face, which is only a glimpse of the profound relationship she cherishes with Bharatanatyam. And when it’s time to totally unwind, this avid Marvel Avengers fan loves to binge watch her favourite shows to her heart’s content. Whether it’s dancing to Carnatic music or Bollywood numbers or spending time with her besties for that matter, Apeksha finds inspiration in small and simple things around.

The bright and promising youngster knew it right from the beginning of her college days that psychology and counselling is where her passion lies. She decided to study Psychology from Mount Carmel College, Bengaluru and later pursued her MSc in Counselling Psychology from Sampurna Institute of Advanced Studies, Bengaluru to start her practice. Today, Apeksha is a counselling psychologist engaged in offering counselling services to individuals and organizations.

Now we know the Zoomers generation is not only about posting the best-dressed selfie of the day! Here’s a young woman who truly believes that empathising with people and their situation and assisting them emotionally comes very naturally to her.

Asrashaheen.in talks to Apeksha to learn more about the importance of professional counselling in addressing mental health concerns. We also try and understand what keeps this young therapist tirelessly motivated towards providing guidance to those seeking the much-needed emotional support.

Counselling Psychology — a road taken less often and the inspiration behind

“True, it might not be a path taken by many, however there are quite a few people who are interested in psychology these days, and some even change their career path to Psychology after working in various fields for years.

I don’t really have one particular inspiration as such. I find inspiration from each person in every small way possible. During Master’s it was mainly from my faculty, friends, family and my therapist. Frankly, I wish I had some emotional support during my adolescence. I wasn’t even aware of what mental health was at that point, and I’m sure that it was same with many others. It was only later that I found out about mental health. I am so glad that many people out today are aware of the importance of mental health and therapy, and are receiving help as well! I want to be that ‘support’ for my clients and that’s my main motivation behind choosing this career path. I simply love what am doing,” reveals Apeksha.

Sometimes, we as individuals need someone who provides a safe space to talk, to listen and understand us, right? Therapy provides that safe space for people. Neither is it advice giving nor suggestion giving, nor is it just ‘listening’. A therapist is a professional, who is trained to understand you as a person, to understand your situation and guide you through the challenges you are facing,” explains Apeksha.

On working with a wide spectrum of age groups – adults, adolescents, children, and geriatrics and the related challenges

“Honestly, I consider myself very lucky that during my training itself, I got to work with people between age groups 6 years to 88 years. People come in with different concerns, one of major ones being interpersonal relationships.

I love working with adolescents and adults. Each client is different and the environment they come from differs; hence each treatment plan has to be tailor-made. If something works for one client, it doesn’t mean that the same thing will apply to others, even if they are of the same age group, or have the same concern, or even belong to same family for that matter! We all experience things very differently,” she describes.

What keeps Apeksha going?

“Seeing clients working on themselves! Sometimes, sessions get very challenging and testing, but seeing their dedication and zeal towards working on themselves is fantastic! The most important thing for me is the therapeutic relationship. It is such a beautiful and intense relationship shared between a client and a therapist, and I cherish it the most.

COVID-19 & mental health

While the pandemic world has been unsettling in many ways, it has particularly deepened the mental illness issues globally, including in India. Perhaps one of the biggest learning lessons of the COVID-19 world has been acknowledging the need to understand mental health. From celebrities to mental health experts, the message from every corner is clear: to de-stigmatize and normalize speaking out about mental health issues and seeking professional help and counselling.

“I’m just glad that people have started recognising the importance and reaching out for professional help. I think each one is dealing with their own set of challenges. The pandemic has surely impacted everyone’s mental health. Not having a social life and not being able to step out of the house, and increased distance in interpersonal relationships surely has been super challenging for everyone. People have been facing loneliness, lack of support, paranoia about getting COVID, their loved ones getting COVID and losing lives. While many people are happy to be ‘home’ and spend time with family, for many others, home is not a safe place, and has been quite a toxic environment.

Losing jobs has increased stress, anxiety and depression among individuals. The uncertainty is very anxiety provoking and stressful. Many people have been expressing death wishes and showing feelings of pointlessness and hopelessness. 

Students, for instance, are facing several challenges in online classes and many families are not sensitized enough to understand and support them. Rather, they are expecting their children to study all the time. This has been very isolating, stressful and frustrating for students,” she shares.

Did you know?

• About 7.5 per cent Indians suffer from some mental disorder and predicts that by end of 2020, it is likely to be 20 per cent
• Around 56 million Indians suffer from depression and 38 million Indians suffer from anxiety disorders
• India accounts for 36.6 per cent of suicides globally
• Lancet studies suggest that India’s contribution to global suicide deaths increased from 25·3% in 1990 to 36·6% in 2016 among women, and from 18·7% to 24·3% among men.

Source: World Mental Health Day 2020: In Numbers, The Burden Of Mental Disorders In India | (ndtv.com)

Is counselling for mental health issues accessible to people?

“Since everything is online now, most therapists have been providing online therapy, which is accessible to people all over the world. People can access any mode of therapy (video, phone, chat, email) sitting at their houses. I know many mental health organisations and professionals who have been charging less during these times, considering the financial conditions of people. We, at The Alternative Story, provide PayWhatYouWant with a minimum amount for those who cannot afford the full fees, to make therapy more accessible and affordable for all. We are a set of trauma informed, queer affirmative, intersectional feminists and caste aware therapists,” informs Apeksha.

On a lighter note, we quizzed Apeksha if being a counselling psychologist inevitably makes her the therapist friend, who lends the shoulder to her near and dear ones.

“Providing support to my close friends and being there for them during their rough time is something I’d want to do. However it is not always possible to be there for every friend. I can only lend my shoulder as a friend; I cannot counsel them. Quite often friends expect me to be their therapist and have certain unrealistic expectations, which I obviously cannot fulfil. I try and help them as much as I can when I know I have the bandwidth and resources. I feel very happy to see many friends of mine either seeking or considering therapy as they now realise the importance of mental health. It’s good to see this change,” she reveals.

Do dance and sports activities help Apeksha keep herself physically and mentally fit?

“Dance does help me stay sane. What is cathartic for me is dancing to Bollywood dance music in a dark room. But since the pandemic it has been very difficult for me to dance and be able to do regular practice for various reasons. Workout and yoga has been very cathartic and helpful in this period.
That is so much fun! Love doing that.

I have always been interested in sports. I used to play every game in school. I started playing Basketball when I was 10. I love playing almost every outdoor sport. Basketball, badminton and throw ball are my favourites. Playing gives me so much happiness and satisfaction.

The best days for me are those when I play/dance for hours and feel exhausted. I love that exhaustion and pain! It feels good,” she laughs.

To what extent can physical activities play a role in mental fitness?

“They surely are beneficial. Sports, dance, yoga, running, walking, cycling and other physical activities do help in maintaining a physically and mentally healthy lifestyle. However, what’s important to know here is that it is not a substitute to counselling.

Many friends and acquaintances tell me that they have been working out regularly but are still facing mental health issues. Physical activities are NOT a substitute to counselling at all. They might be helpful and cathartic to some extent and can provide you relief for a while but they do not heal your mental health concerns,” she cautions.

FAQs

1. I have been feeling sad for some time now. Is it a low phase or is it depression?
   It is very natural to feel sad, especially if it is related to some event in life. Or sometimes it could just be that you feel low without any reason on a day, it’s natural. However if you feel that this sadness has been persistent for more than a few months now, and there are bouts of anger and crying spells, it is always recommended to talk to a counsellor/therapist. Depression is a mental illness which is diagnosed by a clinical psychologist or a psychiatrist. Sadness and depression are not the same.
2. When do I know I need to seek professional help for mental health?
   • When it becomes difficult to perform our everyday activities
   • When there is change in food habits, sleep patterns and self-care.
   • When one feels stuck and helpless in situations
   • When there is a hindrance in performing everyday tasks, or getting into/maintaining relationships
   • When there are frequent bouts of anger or sadness
   • When one feels overwhelmed and deeply anxious
   It’s always best to talk to a mental health professional/ a counsellor/therapist when one is facing these challenges in any area of life. It is absolutely okay to seek help.
3. How do I help my friend/relative who is undergoing mental illness?
   While providing support to a loved one, it is important to listen and empathise with them, instead of jumping into giving them solutions or advice. Think of a time you were going through a rough phase and needed support. Did you want others to give you solutions and fix your problems or you just wanted them to listen to you non-judgementally?
   It is very important to just listen to them while they are narrating their story, and empathise with their pain. As a friend/family member you do have certain limitations and as much as you want to be there for them and help them with their issues, it is important to recognise your limitations as a support provider. It is NOT your responsibility to fix the other person’s problems when they ask you for support. The best way to provide support can be by asking them what they would like to do.
   Statements such as the ones given below can provide support to the person, instead of you trying to find a solution for them or you trying to fix their problems for them:
   • “It sounds like you’re going through a very hard time, and it must be so much for you to take in. Can I do something to help you out with this?” or
   • “I can see that you have been dealing with a lot of things and things haven’t been going smooth for you, is there anything that I can do to help you feel better?” or
   • “I am feeling very concerned about you, and want to show up more for you, what can I do to help you with this?”
4. What are the causes of mental illness?
   There could be various causes of mental illnesses and mental health concerns. Some of them include experiences, genetics, biological factors, social environment they grow/live in, their interpersonal relationships, social factors, family ties, traumatic events, childhood trauma/abuse and many more.
5. Can mental illness be cured?
   There is no ‘cure’ for mental health concerns. Mental illness and mental health concerns cannot be cured, they can only be managed and treated with the help of mental health professionals who will guide you and provide certain tools and techniques to cope with the difficulty one is facing.

Contact details (Click the social media handles below):

Email: apeksha.dt@gmail.com

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